I don't need no wheels, I don't need no gasoline
'Cause the wind that is blowing is blowing like a smoke machine
If I said to you that I was looking for a place to get to
'Cause my neck is broken and my pants ain't gettin' no bigger
I got a stolen wife and a rhinestone life and some good old boys
I'm writing my will on a three-dollar bill in the evening time

All my friends tell me something is gettin' together
I got a beard that would disappear if I'm dressed in leather
Now let me tell you about my baby, she was born in Arizona
Sittin' in the jailhouse tryin' to learn some good manners
I got a stolen wife and a rhinestone life and some good old boys
I'm writing my will on a three-dollar bill in the evening time

Matchstick strike when I'm riding my bike to the depot
As everybody knows my name at the recreation center
If I could only find a nickel, I would pay myself off tonight
'Cause nobody knows where the good times are passed out cold
I got a stolen wife and a rhinestone life and some good old boys
I'm writing my will on a three-dollar bill in the evening time

I got a stolen wife and a rhinestone life and some good old boys
I'm writing my will on a three-dollar bill in the evening time
Don't talk to me if you're looking for somebody to cry on
Don't talk to me if you're looking for somebody to cry on